They should really pass out barf bags in church
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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