i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
