Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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