I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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