I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
