life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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