I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
