dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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