Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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