he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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