you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
