It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
