she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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