Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
