her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
