Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
