my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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