I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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