I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
