My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
