if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My feet surprised me
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