We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
