I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
