Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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