I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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