I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
