Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
