what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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