So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
