none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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