Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
