How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
no, he came in my armpit
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Floor bacon is actually really good
did i just pee glitter
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
