It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
