Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize