butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
