When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize