So drunk its hurt
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
