i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
