So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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