girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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