yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
