Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
