I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
