Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
