I think my vagina is haunted
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
