I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
