Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
