I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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