Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
