"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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