singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
