i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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