Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
