What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
