Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
