i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
