i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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