Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
